Tuesday, September 3, 2013

Invasion of the Body Taker Overs


     Pregnancy. What a beautiful, joyous time. We as women get to carry life in our wombs for 9 glorious months. We get that glow that everyone talks about. Our hair suddenly becomes longer and luxurious with shine. Oh the joy of being pregnant. Well you know what? I call Bull$%^& on the whole damn thing!

     Some man that didn’t have a clue must have come up with all that sweet talk because I’m here to tell you how it really is.

     First of all, you start out sick as all hell for the first 3-4 months… If you’re one of the lucky ones that don’t carry the dreaded morning sickness into your 2nd and 3rd trimesters. Then there’s the damn glow… WHAT GLOW?!?!? My skin is doing something but glowing it aint! When I’m not pregnant I’m blessed with nice skin if I do say so myself. HAHA too bad the same can’t be said when I am pregnant. I break out across my forehead in the weirdest little bumps that go away around 2 months postpartum. Oh and it is very true that each pregnancy is different. This is the first time my ears have been clogged. I don’t even know WHY or HOW this is even due to being pregnant but that’s what the books say. And there are no words for the amount of swelling that goes on. My feet and ankles must HATE me!! Not to mention the insane speed my hair grows, no not the hair on my head…just everywhere else.

     The beautiful thing is come Christmas time we’ll have a beautiful bundle of joy. I cannot wait to meet our new baby. I need to be able to put a face to the kicks and punches. Is it bad that I take it so personally that I can’t eat all of my favorite foods? Should I be upset that I suffer from what I like to call “Pregnancy Insomnia”?

     I always look tired! Maybe because I am!! Perfect example… Labor day weekend has come to an end. I stay up until 11pm polishing my nails and watching videos on You Tube. I finally dose off, I’m sleeping pretty good. All of a sudden….. Who decides to start barking? Yes, Fido is in the back yard barking like she has lost her damn mind!
This goes on for quite some time. Hubby gets up to let her in.
Yes! Quiet. I lay back down thinking that sleep is going to come to me…. It doesn’t. I look at the time, it’s 4am. I think to myself “if I fall back to sleep right now I’ve got 3 hours before I have to get up. As I lay there trying to force sleep upon myself begging the sand man to come knock my ass out.
The following starts to go through my head….
I wonder what the dog was so worked up about. What if someone was out there?! What if SOMETHING was out there? Can a gator get in the back yard? Oh man! I forgot to put a topcoat on my nails before I fell asleep. What are the 2 yr old and I gonna do while everyone is at work and school? What’s on You tube?

     I then get my handy dandy laptop and spend the next hour on you tube. And here it is now 6am and I’m typing!

     And yes I do blame all of this on the pregnancy. Wanna know why? I can’t sleep because I’m hungry!! I feel like I haven’t eaten in 2 days!! However, I refuse to eat at least until the sun comes up! I won’t do it!

     Now don’t get me wrong. Being pregnant isn’t all bad. For some women I’ve heard it’s amazing! Let’s not forget to point out the obvious either… it can’t be too bad, this is baby #7.

What ails you while being pregnant? Please share so I know I’m not suffering alone J
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