Friday, July 11, 2014

The State of Marriage Today

A while back I was approached by a man in a convenience store. Even thou he worked there it still struck me as odd that he was following me around the store asking if I needed help finding anything. I politely told him no. He then asked if he could get to know me and take me out. I flashed him my wedding ring and a smile thinking that would be enough of a hint for him to go away. It wasn’t. In return he shrugged his shoulders and said, “What does that mean?” Now I’m not sure where he was from but I picked up on an accent that told me he wasn’t from here but marriage is marriage no matter where you’re from, but I explained it meant I am married and it wouldn’t be a good idea to get to know each other. He then told me that when he was in his country he had heard that Americans didn’t take marriage serious and it didn’t mean anything. I was shocked to say the least and since I was on my way to the movies with my kids had no time to explain to him the ins and outs of marriage.

Fast forward to yesterday morning Jr and I headed out to the post office bright and early. While there I was greeted with a “good morning” from a man that worked there. I smiled and went on waiting in line with Jr. The man walks away and comes back and says I look familiar and asked what high school I went to. I advised him “I am not from here so I am pretty sure we have never met. “ He leaves me alone and Jr and I continue our conversation until it was our turn in line and we leave. On the way to my car the same man who clearly worked at the post office but obviously had a lot of time on his hands comes out to the parking lot and asks if I’m single. I told him I am not and as I think that is the end of it with a hopeful look in his eyes asks “but are you happy?”  I don’t know what I was more offended by; the fact that he asked me if I was happy in my marriage or by the fact that he tried to hit on me while my toddler was present!
Further more what the hell is going on that men no matter where they are from think it is ok to try to pursue a married woman?  Is marriage really just some big joke to people? When did it stop being a commitment and become just something to do? Here is my opinion and I’m sure I may piss some people off but here it goes…

I blame the women. Not ALL women just the ones that play into these lame ass men and their pick up lines. Think about it, would men really think its ok to continue to pursue a woman after she says she is taken if it hadn’t already worked for him in the past?

Perfect example, I used to go out on the weekends with my girlfriends. One night while out a (married) friend of mine kept watching the door and looking around. I thought it was odd and asked if she was ok. She said she had invited some friends along and was looking for them. Turns out she had used the excuse of our girls’ night out to see her boyfriend. Apparently they had been dating for a while and now I felt caught in the middle of her soon to be shit storm.

She told me she loved her husband but she just wasn’t happy anymore but didn’t want to leave him. Is that what these men are hoping for, to find a woman that is already in a committed relationship so they themselves don’t have to commit?

The truth of the matter is marriage isn’t about 24/7 happiness. There are going to be times when you’re not happy or your spouse isn’t happy. Hell there are going to be a lot of times when no one is happy but you’re under no circumstances to ever go outside of your marriage because what happens when the happiness returns. I think the whole “I’m not happy” is an excuse and if you really, truly are not happy then maybe you should end it before looking for happiness elsewhere. 


  1. These men are just sad. I can't believe the guy from the post office continued to hit on you while you were with your son. I agree that they have probably been successful with another married woman in the past.

    Saving Everyday with Sonya K

    1. It was just so off putting that he would do that. Men these days are a trip. No respect at all.