Monday, October 13, 2014

Body Image and Marriage


They say love is blind. While I believe that’s true I still can’t help but feel a bit insecure around my husband at times. Lets face it I’m not the same person I was when we first met. Marriage and seven kids can make even the most confident woman feel off her game most days. I talked in the past about body image after having a baby. I touched on how we as women may view ourselves after having a baby but the thing I failed to mention is how that affects us with our spouses. To be more specific, how we think they view us after having a baby.

My husband doesn’t act any different towards me I actually act differently towards him. I’ve noticed that over the past 9 months since I had Baby J I’m a little self conscious and a bit more meticulous in what I wear even just around the house. I spend my mornings picking out clothes that will hide my unflattering parts. Can we say muffin top? I feel as though how can he be happy with the way I look if I can't accept myself 100%. It makes for some awkward moments let me tell you. 

I love being a SAHM but it can be difficult to look and feel your best when you spend your days changing diapers, nursing, arts & crafts, preschool shows that never end and other non-sexy tasks.

Being a mom is the greatest job there is but some times we can lose ourselves in trying to be the best. 

I know looks aren't everything and someone out there will think I’m being vain and that’s fine I can live with that but I also know that there is someone out there that feels the same way I do. Right? Don't leave me hanging. 



12 comments:

  1. I think this topic is hard for everyone--married or not. After we have children, it's difficult to accept our bodies and re-learn to love them. Great post love.

    --Me and My Mini Me
    www.meandmyminime.com

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    1. That's a great way to put it "re-learn" to love our bodies. I know it takes time but you're right you don't have to be married to feel this way.

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  2. I work from home and I am still sitting here at my desk (bra-less) at 5:30pm in the same outfit I woke up wearing. lol. You're not vain! Keeping up with ones appearance is completely natural and acceptable, in my opinion. I'm certain my husband would love to come home to me in a pair of actual pants that are not 'yoga' nor 'stretchy' related. I have a weird thing where I either get completely ready or not ready at all....unfortunately, most days fall on the latter. Also, having children does a number on your body so I completely hear ya. I only have one (compared to your 7) and there are a lot of things that will never, ever, look the same as they did before children! I always try to remember that saying 'I earned my stripes' (in regards to stretch marks) but some days I really want to punch that saying in the throat. lol. You are wonderful AND beautiful <3 xo

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    1. LOL Thank you Ashley! I do the same thing. There is no happy medium. I either get totally dressed up making everyone question where I'm going or where I went for the day or I look like I did the day before. The good thing about working at home is that bras are optional.

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  3. You know what we all struggle with this and I am like Ashley some days I don't even get a shower or brush my teeth, but you will get your body back. It took me years and some hard work, but the kids we have are a blessing. Love this post you are stunning.

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    1. The kids are definitely blessings I wouldn't trade them for anything in the world. LOL Not showering or brushing our teeth seems to be a motherhood rite of passage. Thank you for the kind words.

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  4. I think every mother goes through this. And it's a hard place to get out from. I got some good advice from a friend once. She said "Let your husband love you." I took that to mean try seeing myself how he sees me and accept the love he offers. It kind of changed some of my thoughts. Thanks for this thoughtful post.
    MommyCrusader.com

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    1. Thank you for sharing that piece of advice with me. It makes sense. i'm glad it changed your thoughts about yourself. That's awesome!

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  5. Two years after baby and I still find myself uncomfortable with my post-baby body! Things hang and jiggle that were once firm, I look like I got mauled by a tiger (yay, stretch marks!)...all the normal complaints! I also find myself worried that my partner doesn't find me as attractive as when we started dating 8 years ago, no matter how much his words and actions say otherwise! It takes discipline, but I've been trying to see myself through his eyes, which helps immensely (when I can remember to take my own advice, that is!).

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    1. They say it takes 9 months to have a baby so we need to give ourselves 9 months to get our bodies back, that is so NOT true lol I know just how you feel. Thank you for sharing. I'm sorry you feel that way but glad I'm not alone.

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  6. No shame in wanting to keep up your figure. One of the reasons I exercise is actually, besides wanting to look fit, is that both my parents had cancer when I was a child, so I try (operative word) to walk several times a week for health reasons. When the kids are home, it's definitely something that gets pushed to the wayside. It's hard to plan for exercising when there are so many other responsibilities. However, it sounds like your husband loves for you, and you have a nice family to show for it! I think many men don't even care about perfect bodies -- at least I hope so. :) Visiting from today's linkup...

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    1. I'm sure you're right. Most men probably don't care about perfect bodies especially when they are committed. I'm sorry to hear about your parents. Exercise does help with a lot but like you said it is hard when you have other people to care for. Thanks for commenting i appreciate your kind words.

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