Wednesday, January 14, 2015

Gifted is just another label


   As parents I think it’s safe to say that we would do anything within our powers to make our children happy. At times situations come up that we have absolutely no control over and we feel helpless because we can’t help our kids.

   I have one kid in particular that is an over achiever when it comes to school. She is beyond brilliant. Over the past two years I have watched her flourish more than I could even have imagined. She was already getting straight A’s but lately she has been racking up a ton of academic awards. My desk is full of ribbons, medals and trophy with more competitions coming up soon.

   A couple of months ago I was asked by the school for my permission to test her for the gifted program. I of course said “yes”. She passed the first test with a pretty high score. We waited patiently for the next round of testing which finally came this week.

   I received the call from the school psychiatrist with the test scores. My little girl missed it by three points. The psychiatrist asked if I would be the one to break the news to my baby because it would be better coming from me “the person she trusts the most”. I agreed but was not looking forward to it.

   How do you break news like that to a kid who succeeds at everything academically? Who strives for greatness with every assignment and will argue with a teacher on why she received a “B”?

   It wasn’t easy but I did it and as I expected she was in tears. For two days now she has been upset. I have kids that are content with making B’s and C’s because that’s who they are. They have other strengths that shine through. So to have a child hurt because she isn’t “gifted” is crushing.


   The thing is, it’s just a title, and because of her test scores in class she is still going to be in all honors classes next year. However, that just isn’t good enough for her. She wants to be “gifted”. I’ll give her the time she needs to get past this and in the mean time I will continue to praise her for all of her achievements and let her know that just because a test didn’t label her “gifted” she is still special beyond belief.  

8 comments:

  1. Aww.. poor thing. I am sorry she is disappointed. :(

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you. She's feeling better these days but still thinks about it.

      Delete
  2. Hope she handles it well. I know that so many of my students put so incredibly much pressure on themselves to be perfect. When that happens, I go out of my way to show how I am not perfect but am still a successful person and teacher.

    Amanda
    www.queenofthelandoftwigsnberries.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I told her that as well as the school psychiatrist. We're all not perfect and those 3 points are not going to change anything for her. Thanks for reading/commenting.

      Delete
  3. For years my daughter has been ahead of her class. They don't have gifted classes any more due to funding. They do have honors classes. Still in those classes she gets her work done early. For us we always asked the teacher when she is done and waiting for the other kids can she have special work she can do (picked out and prepared by the teacher) along with this we asked if she could also choose to read a book when waiting. This way she always had something to do and wasn't bored. Now she is in middle school. She takes a book with her daily that shes reading (college level already) I think it's important to let her know to keep nurturing her education and excelling, not worry about labels and remind her she is special and gifted in so many ways.Everyone isn't perfect no matter how smart they are. For us we also found it helpful to sign them up for after school activities to challenge them. Like dance, piano or something of interest. Which helps challenge and have outside school friendships. Good luck!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That;s the thing.... they still test for gifted even thou there are no classes for it. Only the honors classes that she will be in next year anyway because of her grades and test scores. Why even stress kids out about it? She loves gymnastics so she focuses on that as well. Thank you for the ideas.

      Delete
  4. Oh, I feel for your daughter! But regardless of what label she is or isn't given, she is still a bright, motivated girl. Nothing can ever take that away from her!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Bev! I hope I can convince her of that.

      Delete