Monday, March 30, 2015

You Know You're a Stay at Home Mom When…

A trip by yourself to the grocery store or to run any household errand is considered a break. You’ve got more bounce in your step and you feel as giddy as if you’ve spent a day at the spa. The world is yours you can do what ever the hell you want to… and then you go home and your kids drag you kicking and screaming back to reality.

You have no idea what’s going on with your favorite day time shows but you know every bit of tawdry gossip on Sesame Street. Seriously, How I met your mother is really off the air?!?! When did that happen? See how far behind I am!

Coffee and wine become food groups and they are the only 2 forms of sustenance you need to survive. I call it the Liquid diet. So far it hasn’t helped me lose any weight but it has helped me keep my sanity.

If you wear something other than yoga pants or sweats everyone asks where you’re going or where you’ve been. A girl can’t wear a pair of jeans without being interrogated? Damn!

When you lay the kids down for their nap that’s when you bust out the good snacks. No healthy crap over here for mom. Too bad you have to eat it in the bathroom sitting on the toilet with your foot against the door incase the kids wake up they can’t barge in on you. They can smell sugar and sense fun even in their sleep.

You don’t know the last time you read a book that didn’t rhyme unless it was 50 Shades of Grey. You made time to read that didn’t you? Uh-huh I bet you did.

You crave a girls’ night out full of wine, laughter and no one asking you to take them to the bathroom only to be too tired when that night finally comes to go. Just joking! You run out that house so fast you damn there get whiplash and break your ankle tripping over the toys in the driveway!

All jokes aside I love my kids and I’m fortunate enough to be with them every day. There is no place I rather be… except the occasional girls’ night out with drinks and stuff but that’s all really… and the spa now that’s all.




8 comments:

  1. That infographic says it all! I could use a spa day myself. Amen to the coffee! :)

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    1. Coffee is the nectar of the Gods I'm sure lol

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  2. Oh spa days... I feel like those are a twice a year occasion now! Is it sad that the grocery store is almost a freeing experience these days?:)

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    1. I haven't had a spa day in forever but I keep saying it's going to happen and it doesn't.

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  3. After a long day with my daughter, I actually enjoy handing her off to my husband so I can relax by....doing the dishes! But seriously, it gives me some time to myself while I watch something streaming online. It's amazing how a mundane chore can feel like a break!

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    1. Laundry is my mundane chore that I can tolerate lol I've got big kids so they do the dishes and I hide in my room lol

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  4. Haha love it! I work but I def miss spa days and girls nights! ;)

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    1. Those are 2 of my favorite things! Especially the spa!

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