My oldest child Dee Dee graduates in June. She’ll be 18 years old in May. Some times I sit back and think about what my life was like at her age. I’ll tell you it was completely different! At the age of 17 I was living on my own. My mother not so politely asked me to leave home when I was 15. That is a story for another time. So at 17 I had my own apartment, was going to school, working at a telemarketing company run by what can only be described as functional cokeheads. How do I know that? Because I was pregnant by the son of one of the companies big wigs. I knew more about the people that ran that company than I wish I did. However, I’m getting off subject.
So there I was a teen mom only there was no television show to be on to document my life. Or to glamourize my shortcomings. I was pretty sure my life was ruined but wasn’t ready to roll over and die. Even thou I didn’t lead the life of a normal teenage girl I was determined to try and do normal teenage shit. Like go to prom. So I did. 8 months pregnant I waddled my ass into the Wyndham hotel right into the ballroom. Now since I was pregnant and paying rent I didn’t have the money to buy a big poufy gown but I’m sure they didn’t make maternity gowns anyway. So I wore a black pantsuit I borrowed from a supervisor at work. Oh by the way, the whole “Normal teenage experience” thing was a group effort.
I remember thinking once I was there how much I didn’t want to be there. I felt a little more at ease when I saw a girl in a beautiful dress more pregnant than I was being escorted out while she did her Lamaze breathing. At that moment I thought two things. 1. Glad I’m not going into labor in middle of prom (how freaking embarrassing) and 2. Where the hell did she get a dress from?!?!
Two weeks later I graduated but my graduation day did not lack any drama. A mere few hours before I was to waddle across the stage just a week away from my due date I sat on the floor in my room crying on the phone to my mom. I remember the conversation having something to do with being the size of a hippo (I told you… drama) and not graduating because I had nothing to wear. My mom politely told me ok well then there is no sense in me going. I’ll talk to you later. I wasn’t offered any comfort or “you worked hard you deserve to do this”. I don’t know what I was expecting but the pep talk I feel that I should have gotten from her I gave myself.
I picked my pregnant ass up off the floor, put on the pantsuit from prom and waddled across that stage. Then I had my baby girl the next week.
Life doesn’t always go the way you think it will but regardless of the hand
that you’re dealt you can still make the most of any situation. I don’t want to call the things I’ve done in my life
mistakes but they are experiences. I only hope that Dee learns from my experiences
and chooses many different paths than I took. I hope the same for all of my
|Me and baby when she was a baby.|
|My big baby and I on our way to go see Madonna.|