Being a mom of 7 kids, a wife and a business owner I often get called “Superwoman”. At first I’d always play coy and say “No I’m not Superwoman. I’m just doing what needs to be done.” I’ve heard it so much over the years I started to believe I did have super human powers. So much so that I’d feel down if I wasn’t able to complete a to-do list. I would feel like I can’t live up to other people’s expectations of me. I began to feel like only a mom, only a wife. I think I lost myself somewhere between motherhood and marriage.
I decided to take a stand and take my life back. After all I was Samantha the person before I was “Mommy” or “Mrs. Minor”. I wanted to feel like myself again but didn’t want to let others down. Let me tell you that shit is hard. In trying to be Ms. Perfect. In trying to keep that Superwoman persona I didn’t realize what stress I was putting on myself. Mentally and physically. You see, no matter what you want to do your body will only allow you to do so much. You can’t supply everyone else’s needs when you’re not even meeting your own.
Two weeks ago things started coming to a head. One of my children ended up in the hospital. The stress of that alone was enough to shake me to my core. While stressing over her condition and worrying about my other kids at home I could feel a change. Not a good one. Once we got her home I tried to get things back to normal but with a ton of doctor appointments and trying to catch up with work I started feeling bad. There is no other way to explain it. I just felt like shit.
Come Saturday morning I got up (still feeling bad. Even worse actually) and did some cleaning and laundry. Finally I asked myself “What the hell am I doing?” Here I felt absolutely horrible and yet I’m pushing myself when I know damn well I shouldn’t be. My husband was at work and I had all of the kids settled watching tv and folding laundry. I told them I had to run errands I went straight to Urgent Care. Yes, I lied to my kids. I really didn’t want them to worry and I thought I’d be right back home.
After being in Urgent Care for all of 15 minutes they called an ambulance for me to be transported to the hospital. My heart rate was 180 and every time it started to go down it went right back up. I called my husband and let him know what was going on. He met me at the hospital where they ran a ton of tests on me. The only thing they could tell me is that I have SVT Supra Ventricular Tachycardia. I’ve had it since I was 20 and it’s not really a big deal. I’ve learned to deal with the high heart rate once in a while but this time it was high and showing no signs of stabilizing.
They ended up having to give me a medication to slow my heart rate as well as a sedative to calm me. The sedative did the trick until they told me I had to stay overnight for observations. I was so upset. I wanted to go home and spend my weekend with my kids and play games like we always do but I couldn’t. I had to stay to make sure I was alright so I can be around for many, many more years for them. So I could continue to be Superwoman.
In the end I am good and healthy. The bottom line is I need to slow down and learn how to handle my stress. I think I really let the title “Superwoman” go to my head. There is nothing wrong with being an over achiever but you have to have balance. Without balance you end up stressed out and in the hospital. No matter how super human you feel you still need to just stop, take off your cape and take a break from time to time because yes, even Superwoman needs a spa day.